Citadel of Secrets (2009)
Originally a follow-up short story to A Gothic Romance, but towards the end of its creation it was kept as a separate short story. Citadel of Secrets tells the story of David Liviam, a high-school student being tormented by Jason Leivensten, the toughest bully at school. But not all is normal in St. Evangeline High School, as remnants of fractured memories begin to flow through.
This short story is now available for free on Sarumonin.com, as the writing, structure, and overall design of the story is that of a teenager (which is the age of when this story was written), and no longer represents the writing style of David Angel in his current writing. It is free to view and read here, to showcase the beginnings of David Angel's story and world building. All writings in this page are copyrighted by David Angel.
The music compilation on this page is not owned, nor copyrighted, by David Angel. The music is hosted on a third-party platform, and not on Sarumonin.com.
I always wondered if being dark or light, would change my vision of this world, I was right. At the cost of being dark, I killed, ate, and lied for most of my life. I still remember the blackest memories, in that Citadel Of Secrets.
It was an ordinary day at school, nothing new, but I was happy. Life was a beautiful thing for me, as if light from the skies always shined on me. I always studied, and behaved well, no teacher, nor my parents, could say I was a bad child, or a bad son.
The bell rang; I packed my things and went to my next class, “English”. I always had a theory, whether what way would be more fascinating, to be dark, and always be interested in darkness and death, and such, or to see the world as I so now, light as if a presence always shines the way to guide you. Most people wouldn’t have answered that question, but I prefer to stay light, normal, or “preppy” as most people say about me.
I finished English, and went to my locker, “Mr. Liviam”; I heard a familiar voice say. I turned around, it was Jason Leivenstein, one of the toughest, strongest, and if I’m not wrong, considered the “hottest” guy in St. Evangeline High School. He pushed me to my locker, and made my books fall to the floor. It was always that way, as if time repeated over and over again, if only I had the courage to stand up to him, and defend myself, but I was too weak. I fell down to my knees, and saw him laughing with his friends. I gathered my things, as he left, and noticed some guy, I had never seen before, staring at me, as if he was worried or mad, I couldn’t tell.
I looked to the floor, and put my stuff in my locker. I got my backpack, and closed my locker. I slowly walked away, but I looked back, once more, to see if the guy was still there, be he wasn’t. I looked side to side, and didn’t see anyone. I looked back and walked towards the school exit.
I got on my bus, and sat in the front, I couldn’t go to the back, Jason Leivenstein and his “group”, didn’t allow anyone in the back, if anyone did go to the back, they would beat the person, whether it was a girl or guy. I sat on the window seat; it was my favorite, and started to listen to Kelly Clarkson. I felt someone sit next to me, but I paid no attention, I kept looking outside. The bus stopped, some people got off, and I still stared outside. The bus stopped again, and I felt that the person, whom sat next to me, got off the seat, I saw the person outside, it was a guy. It was the same guy, who had stared at me when Jason pushed me to the locker. He stood there and stared at me, I slowly took off my earphones; I was confused. The bus moved, I kept staring back at him, in awe, and he didn’t stop staring back at me.
I shook my head, maybe he was looking at someone else, and I couldn’t stop thinking about that. I heard a distorted voice, but I was still thinking about that guy. “Mr. Liviam, this is your stop” I heard as a hand kind of waved at me. “Oh, sorry…” I said back, it was the bus driver.
I got off the bus, and kept thinking of why that guy was staring at me, maybe he knew me, “Yeah…cause I’m so popular…” I said with a sarcastic laugh. I walked to my house, and felt someone behind me. I looked back and saw no one. I looked at the corners of the streets, and still saw no one, maybe I was going crazy. I looked back, “Oh my fucking God!” I said in shock.
I stood back, and laughed, it was a tree. I walked around it, and walked to my house. I opened the mailbox, and got the mail out. I check the names on it, maybe one of them were for me, though I doubted it very much, “Mom, mom, mom, dad, bills, bills, promotion…David Campbell?” I looked puzzled, we knew no one called David Campbell, maybe they got the address wrong.
I walked towards the main door, and opened it, it was always open, my parents always stayed at home, they worked night shifts. “Hey, honey” my mom said, as she kissed my forehead. “Hey, mom…” I said back, and hugged her, “Where’s Dad?” I asked her. “Oh, in the studio, you know, working…” she said with a giggle, but I knew it bothered her.
I put my backpack on the couch, and went to the studio. I knocked on the door, I didn’t want to interfere, “Dad, it’s me” I said in a loud voice, since he could have anything beyond the door, it was soundproof. I knocked again, and then stopped, ‘Wow…I’m stupid” I said to myself, and I was right, I always did the same thing.
I went to the side of the door, where he had this communication thing; I always forgot the name to. I clicked the red button, “Hey Dad, it’s me” I said. He usually would never answer after he said “Hi” to me, “Come in, son” he said back. I heard a buzzing noise, and the door unlocked. I opened the door, and pulled it back, it was very heavy. I walked in, smiled; he smiled back, stood up, and came towards me.
“Hey son how was school?” he asked with a smile from a distance. “Same old, same old, Oh here’s the mail dad? There’s one in there to a David Campbell? I don’t know, I suppose it was a wrong direction” I said to him. He never hugged me, or even got near me, it was the only time of the day I ever got to see him. I gave him the letters, and walked away. “Thank you, son” he said back to me, “No problem…” I replied, hiding my sorrow for his actions. I walked out of the studio, every time I did, it caused me pain. I was quite sad, how he never shows any compassion, except that fake smile he always wears when I arrive.
I went to my room, and locked the door. I took off my shoes, put them in their place, and went into my bathroom. I locked its door, as well, and went to twist the bath handle. I turned the Hot and Cold water on, so it would be equal to each other. I put on my music, “Because Of You” by Kelly Clarkson, and took off my clothes. I got in the bathtub, and rested my body in the warm, oblivious water. I slowly slowed my eyes…Damien! No… I woke up gasping. “What…happened…?” I asked myself; I had forgotten what I had dreamt. I got out of the bathtub, and dried myself. I got out of the bathroom, and put on my pajamas.
I walked out of my room, and went to the dining table, where I only expected my mom to be. It was always like this, as if life had a daily schedule, that always rejected me. “Hey baby” my mom said, “Mom, don’t call me that, I’ve told you a thousand times now…” I replied to her greeting. “Sorry for you, but you’ll always be my baby” She said back with a big grin; I was annoyed by it. My mom went to the kitchen, and brought the dinner out to the table. As usually, my dad was in his “Studio”, but it didn’t surprise me. My mom brought me a plate of chicken noodle soup, “Well honey, I have to go in an hour, so I’m going to get dressed” she said to me. I looked at her, and grinned, it was so surprising oh how everyday repeated the same way, if I told someone, no one would ever believe me.
I finished my soup,, “I have to go baby, God be with you, behave ok?” my mom said to me, while walking towards the door. “Yeah, love you” I smiled back. My dad always left later, he worked in some company, but then again I wouldn’t know, I never spoke to him. I went back to my room, and brushed my teeth. I heard the front door close again, “There goes my dad…” I said to myself. It was as if he didn’t want to see me, as if he avoided me. I turned off the light, thinking of why my dad had always been like that, and went to sleep.
I woke up sweating, gasping for air, and in tears. I couldn’t remember the dream again, “Ugh, school again…” I said in a very annoyed voice, it was 7:30 A.M. I got up off my bed, and slowly began to walk towards my bathroom. I twisted the bath handles again, but this time so that I could shower, I got inside. As the water fell on me, I kept thinking about what I had dreamt, trying to remember.
I got out of the shower, and got dressed quickly. I looked at my reflection, I seemed pale, “Maybe I’m getting sick…” I tried to reason with myself, “It would make sense…the dreams, sweating, maybe it was a fever…” My hair was on the right side of my face, and I was attracted to the look for some reason. I got my backpack, and ran to the dining table. I drank a cup of water, and left quickly to catch the bus.
I waited for my bus, and as I did, I decided to change my type of music. The bus finally arrived, and I sat almost in the middle, on the window seat of course. We finally arrived at the school, and I immediately went to my math class. I sat down on my seat, and waited with patience for the class to start. I saw the guy that stared at me yesterday, come into the classroom, and sat behind me.
I stayed quiet, and humble, a feeling that never occurred to me before. I felt as if he kept staring at me, I was lost, confused, and almost overpowered by him. It was as if my thought were no longer mine, as if he could get in my head, and see every deep secret, inner thought. I just kept looking ahead, and paid no attention at what happened behind me.
The bell rung, I stood up quickly, and walked outside, as far as I could. I kept walking, looking ahead, and feared of falling down, and letting him catch up to me. I could no longer think, my thoughts, conscience, was against me, they wanted me, urged me, to go back, and talk to him. I fell down, confused, and silently started to cry. I heard someone walk beside me, and slowly walking in front of me. That same someone, put its hand on my head, and said “Awaken Brother, Death Confuses All Things…” it was a guy’s voice. I looked up, “Are you okay?” it was a teacher. “What did you say?” I asked him in pure confusion. “I asked if you were okay…” he repeated. “What did you say before that though…” I looked with interest and anger, “Nothing, except are you okay, I think you might need to go home” he responded.
I looked behind me, puzzled, and saw the guy who had followed me, walk by. I went to the office, in slight shock, feeling overpowered, like as if all my strength, had been drained, I felt weak. I walked in lost, and asked the Vice-Principal if I could go home, because I was sick, and for the most part, I was. I felt nauseous, weak, and it was like my soul was taken, or as if I was changing, and not for the better, and yet not for the worse.
The Vice-Principle approved it, but I was to call my mother. Even my language, started changing, as if the English applied to today’s modern world was changed with the Old 16th Century English. I called my mother, and asked if I could go home. I told her, in tears, that I felt sick, and that I NEEDED to get home. She let me, but I noticed that she started worrying; then again, she had always been worried about me.
I walked to the school exit, worried, and the same guy that had followed me before, walked past me, I freaked out, I was sobbing and in shock. I walked faster, towards the exit, trying to escape his stare. I finally got outside, breathing in the cold air, and letting out the scared, dark based air. I calmed myself down, knowing that tomorrow I would have to face that “Guy” again. I kept walking, until I stood before the bus stop. It wasn’t too far away from the school, just like 2 or 3 blocks away.
I finally arrived at the bus stop, and the bus came about 5 minutes later, after that. I got on the bus, shivering, not from the cold, but randomly. I sat at the back of the bus, and looked outside the window, “On the white, porcelain, snow…” I shook my head, wondering why I had just said that. The bus stopped, I saw something in the snow, almost as if it was buried. Blood started to come from under the snow, I gasped.
“There’s a body in the snow!” I yelled, while walking towards the bus driver. “What are you talking about, there’s no body in the snow” he said back to me, giving me a weird look. I took him to where I saw the body, or at least what I thought was a body, and saw nothing, no blood, no body, just nothing. My eyes opened wide, at the stare of what I had thought was real. “See, nothing. Now get back to your seat” the bus driver said to me in an almost aggravated voice. “I-I-I saw a body there…it’s impossible…” I said to myself, as I walked towards my seat.
The bus continued to move, but I was still in awe of what had just happened. Again, I stared to the outside of the bus, asking myself what had just happened. Maybe I was sick, maybe I was right when I told myself this morning. I put my finger on the window, where the coldness of the winter had been, and felt something moving. It was my finger, drawing some symbol I had never seen before. It was like a star, but not of anything I had ever seen before. I stopped my finger from drawing, it was like someone or something had moved my finger, but there was no one there.
The bus finally arrived at my destination, it was relieving to know that I could be in my room, and sleep this sickness away. I got off the bus, thinking of what had happened before, on the bus, and all I could come up with, was that I was hallucinating. I walked towards my house, and reached in my right pocket for the house keys. I opened the door, walked in quickly, and cleaned off my shoes from the snow.
I started walking to my room, and saw my mother walking towards me, from my room. “Are you okay? Tell me what’s wrong” she said to me, “Just…leave me alone for awhile I’ll tell you later…” I said back, while I walked to my room. I locked the door, took off my shoes, and went to my bed to lie on my back. Tears began to run down my face, my fears, all my fears, had looked at me in the face, and tore me to pieces. I had different emotions; I didn’t even know what I was feeling anymore. Fear, for some reason, was not the reason why I was how I was. I felt numb, weird, I could say probably sad too.
I got up from my back, and walked slowly towards my bathroom, still wondering what was going on. I felt almost controlled; I locked the door, and put on my music. The only thing sounding was static; I walked backwards, and fell on my back. The lights started flashing on and off, I made out a figure coming towards me, I tried to crawl backwards, but I couldn’t. The static became screams, and Black Metal, I looked quickly at the iPod player, and back at the figure. I closed my eyes, and screamed.
“David are you okay?” I heard my mom yelling from the other side of the door. Since she had the key to every room in the house, except the bathrooms, she could come as she pleased, but we had made a deal, and plus it was my privacy. “David?” she asked again, “Yeah…I’m okay…I think…” I yelled back cadent. There was nothing, completely nothing weird about the bathroom, and it was the same as I entered. I looked around, Kelly Clarkson was playing, “Am I losing my mind?” I asked myself. I got out of the bathtub, and looked at the iPod player. It was normal, but I looked closer anyways, it started moving, almost vibrating. I tilted my head back, before anything happened.
The vibrations got harder and louder, “Twas like the unending sound of Harmony in constant Death-Knell by war drums of the forsaken…” I thought to myself. I kept walking backwards, the thought alone of me thinking this way scared me. I fell backwards, in tears. The vibrations seemed to get slower, but at the same time I couldn’t tell, my mind was wondering how I thought that description of what I was hearing. I got myself up, just enough to sit down, and looked at the floor. Black liquid was falling from an unknown source. I reached slowly towards where the black liquid was coming from, put my hand towards my face, and felt it softly. I took my hand off my face, and saw a black substance, almost like chalk, lying there.
I stood up, almost in awe, trying to see what was on my face. I heard the vibrations slowly disappearing, and as I did, I walked more towards the mirror. I finally reached my destination, and saw that my eyes were dilated, and seemed to be bleeding some black substance, but for some reason, I was not afraid. My face was pale, my eye’s seemed darker, and my entire figure, had this whole dark meaning that not even I could understand. The music completely hanged, it was a different type of music, something I had never heard before, but still it comforted me, as if I was in pure Heaven.
I reached to touch the mirror, to see if maybe it was playing tricks on me. From that moment on, fear had no play on me, and my ways had changed. I slowly reached, with my hand, to touch the mirror. As I did, the music became louder and louder, and only to harmonize my soul. I almost caressed the mirror, and as I did, everything changed.
I touched the mirror, and only as I did, everything turned back to what seemed normal. Kelly Clarkson was still playing, my eyes, face, and whole form was the same as usual. It was as if nothing had ever happened, like this was all in my mind. I immediately walked out of the bathroom, and sat on my bed wondering what was happening to me. I wasn’t afraid, and still I wasn’t in any distress in any form, it was like my conscience had thrown Fear and all those cowardly actions out of me.
I changed my clothes, and got in my bed. I kept wondering what had happened, I mean, I usually would be in shock, or the most probable thing that could happen would have been that I would have left the house, but it wasn’t like that, and that’s what scared me. I got into my bed, and held the blankets hard, just in case.
The bell rang, it was 7:30 A.M, and only starting the day, I had decided that the day was going slow. I got up off the bed, and slowly walked towards the bathroom. I got in, and saw my reflection, I was paler, and my eyes seemed darker. My mind didn’t seem to care, I couldn’t figure it out; it was like something was missing from me. I got in the shower, and began to bathe myself. I still wondered to myself what I was feeling. “Wait, a second…” I said to myself in sudden movement, and I stopped moving. I couldn’t remember what happened last night.
It was only until now that I could think straight, my mind was clear, like I could think anything and not stress myself out. I kept thinking of what happened last night. I didn’t remember anything; it was like anything before this morning was erased completely from my mind. I looked up and thought to myself, “What the hell…I can’t remember anything before today…” personally I didn’t care, it was like my mind just didn’t want to think of what I did, like I had amnesia, I couldn’t think of anything.
I felt interesting, weird, but completely normal at the same time. I got out of the shower, out of the bathroom, and got dressed. While I got dressed my mind drifted on endless tracks of poetry, and I comforted myself doing it. I went back into the bathroom, and drew a pentagram, “It blessed me with endless Holy Darkness, that only the Gods would have approved…” after I finished drawing it, I cleaned the foggy look on the mirror, and looked at myself. I was completely pale, and I had black nails, which made me give myself a confused look. “When did I paint my nails…?” I thought to myself in a soft cadent voice, but only after realizing my nails were in black, I didn’t care anymore.
I left the bathroom, got my school belongings, and left to the dining room. My mother was waiting for me, with her arms crossed, which gave me the impression that she was mad at me. “Yes mother?” I asked her in a soft, almost impressed voice, and looked at her right in the eye. “What are you wearing?” she asked me in a tone, that I had never recognized from her before. “I’m not wearing anything” I said to her, despite that I had a black shirt, black jeans, black shoes, and well a black sweater, I had nothing else on.
“You’re wearing nail polish now? Didn’t know we had a girl in the family…” she said in a tone which aggravated me, and only to that extent I yelled at her. “Fuck you! You have no choice in what the fuck I wear so leave me the Hell alone!” I yelled and threw the front door behind me. I walked to the bus stop, and started listening to my iPod; I was listening to Nox Arcana.
I slowly changed my pace of walking, and thought to myself if I had ever listened to this band before, the name didn’t seem familiar, yet the music, “Oh, the dark antiqueness, that blossomed its caressing arms around me, and embraced my only desire…” I thought to myself. I kept walking, listening to the music, and noticed some people standing on the bus stop. They looked at me, and gave me a funny look, more like “The Evil Eye”, I would say. I stood a small distance away from them, but still I stood on the bus stop, and waited with them, till the bus came.
The bus arrived at its destination, and I silently got on it. The people on it were not the same people I had seen over and over again within the weeks that I had gone to the school. I walked, almost to the back of the bus, where Jason Leivenstein and his “group” were sitting. I sat almost right in front of them. My mind drifted with endless poetic scriptures, and only then, as I sat to the window seat, I saw the guy that had severely stalked me, sit next to me.
I stayed quiet, and I looked outside the window, as quickly as I could. I found my mind with endless questions, “What does he want? Why is he following me? Why am I seeing things, and not care?” I felt by the movement of the seat, that he was reaching over for something. He poked me, and I gasped, I looked at him, and saw that it wasn’t even close to being him, it was Danielle.
“What—what?” I said to myself, and I looked from side to side. “Hey David, what’s up?” she asked me, “Where-where did that guy go?” I replied to her with a question. “What guy?” she responded, “Don’t do that, where IS he?” I raised my voice. I stood up, and saw him walking towards the front of the bus. “Stop!” I yelled from the back, but only as I did, he ignored me. I went over Danielle, and ran towards the bus, where he was walking. He stopped, opened the bus doors, looked at me, and smiled. He jumped off the bus.
I saw his body almost buried in the snow, with blood coming out from under it. Danielle came towards me, “Are you okay?” she looked at me confused. I looked back at the body, it wasn’t there. I gasped, and looked again from side to side, only to find nothing. “Is it all in my mind?” I asked myself in a short panic, “I-I-I” I stuttered, the bus doors weren’t even open, and the bus had stopped because I had ran and scared the bus driver.
I couldn’t even say anything, it wouldn’t come out, and I would drive myself crazy. My head started hurting and I fell to my knees crying. I opened my eyes, and saw the outside of a window, I gasped.
It was as if the whole thing didn’t happen, as if I had imagined the whole thing. No one was standing up, the bus was moving, and Danielle wasn’t sitting next to me, it was Jordan, a classmate. My eyes filled with tears of pure fear, even though it had left me, and my mind didn’t care about what had just happened, my soul did, and I knew that in my heart, there was something wrong with me. “Are you okay David?” Jordan asked me, in a worried voice, when he saw my tears. “Yeah…don’t worry about it” I said back, and turned back around to looking at the window.
My mind was lost, I couldn’t think straight, and yet there was a part of me, that didn’t even care about anything. I kept looking outside, scared, crying on the inside, trying to not show it. I knew there was something weird going on, and only with that thought, my mind went on about conclusions on what this was, cancer maybe, a tumor, and fever? But as I said those fateful names, where before I’d fear even speaking those names, I didn’t care…
“Twas like a night in full oblivion, when all shadows had left their unearthly caress…” I kept thinking those words over and over. I kept staring at the outside of the bus, and yet at the same time, I was in my own little world, thinking to myself, not even noticing what was happening. We finally arrived at the school, and I was determined to talk to that kid, maybe he was messing with my mind, “What am I thinking…?” I said to myself in an almost disgusted voice.
I walked towards my locker, to put some things in, and well, get the books and the usual stuff out of it. Jason Leivenstein was walking towards me; I had noticed him from the corner of my eye. It was weird, everyday in the morning when I got into school, and in the afternoon when I was going to leave, he bullied me, it was interesting. “Mr. Liviam! How are you?” he almost yelled, even though he was a couple of centimeters away from me.
At that time, I didn’t like my last name; it completely turned my stomach in pieces. “Yes, Jason?” I responded in an irritated voice, as I put my things in. “Ooh, the nerd is mad now” he said in such a mocking voice, that it burnt my insides to pieces. “What are YOU going to do about it? You’re a nerd, I’m you owner, you’re my bitch, I’m the one who will kick your ass, Got it?!” he replied to me in a voice that made my head pound, my heart die, and my veins pulse harder.
I turned around, and looked at him. “Oh my fucking God…” he said to me, I looked into his eyes; he was in pure fear, as if he’d seen Death itself. I noticed he couldn’t move, not even twitch. I reached into my bag, looking for pills for my head, it was pounding even harder. I found a bloody knife; I looked at Jason, he throat slowly cut open from the left to right. I dropped the knife I fell to my back, and closed my eyes shut.
I opened my eyes, there was no knife, no Jason Leivenstein, no blood nothing. ‘What…the…Fuck…?” I said slowly in an almost panicked voice. I felt someone coming towards me; it was Jason Leivenstein, “Mr. Liviam! How are you?” he yelled, my eye twitched, and I felt like fainting. I felt someone else coming towards me, but I didn’t look, I was in shock, and I couldn’t move at all. “Leave him be…” I heard a strange voice beside me speak out. My body was shaking in fear, and I saw the same look as Jason gave me, when I thought of his death. He walked away slowly, full of fear, so it seemed. “Here let me help you up, I saw a hand coming towards me, while I could only see what was directly in front of me, I couldn’t see him, he was next to me, and I was shaking too much to look.
“Hey, I’m Damien, what’s your name?” he asked me. As he said his name, his voice all of the sudden comforted me, and I no longer shook. I looked at him; it was the guy who I had in my mind 24/7. He smiled at me, while I looked at his eyes with a confused feeling; I didn’t know what to feel whether fear or happiness. He’d save me from Jason, but still, I was bound to ask, “Who are you…?” I asked in cadence, I had fainted. “
I slowly opened my eyes, and felt the light coming into them, slightly blinding me. I saw a nurse looking at me, smiling, “Hey kiddo, you’ll be okay, you just fainted” she said in a nice, sweet voice. “Where’s the guy who I saw?” I got up quickly—“Not too quickly, you could faint again, and there’s one guy who brought you in, he’s outside waiting” she replied. My eyes opened of glee, my feelings were confused; I needed to know who he was, and why I was seeing him everywhere, and why I’m seeing things.
I got up slowly, got my backpack, “Thank you, Nurse Jade” I said to her in a nice, calm voice, so she wouldn’t have any suspicion that I was going crazy. “Take care, David” she said back, and I smiled back at her. I closed the door, and saw the guy there, sitting calm, as if nothing was wrong.
He stood up, smiling, and inside of me, I wanted to smile too. I walked towards him, “Ok who are you?” I asked him, “I’m glad you’re okay” he said while he giggled. It somehow brought life to my cheeks and to my heart. “I’m Damien” he said in a soft tone. “I keep seeing you everywhere, and — “I’ll explain later, for now, let’s just hang out”, he said with a smile that almost made me smile.
Citadel of Secrets was never completed.